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i woke up at 3am and couldn't fall back to sleep until 5am. i thought he was lying next to me, but it was just a dream. i cried and cried and couldn't stop crying. it's been almost 4 months since he broke up with me. i've accepted that everything is over -- all i think about is the past. if you know me, you know that i like to plan for things. now i'm at a loss. i have no idea what's coming up ahead and i'm so scared.

i've had a lot of sleepless nights and i'm tired. i want to be happy again. i've been told to be strong on the outside and i try. but inside i'm falling apart. the only thing that gets me up in the morning is my job.

i've attempted to box things up but i failed. i seem to be failing in everything.