Wednesday, October 22, 2003
i'm looking for a new life. im going on vacation with my college mis classmates this dec. one's in ny, the other's in dc and i'm the chicago/western suburb one. i want to move away from here. nyc would be a great place, even la. so i've been looking for a new life. sending out resumes, looking at apt prices, etc. i need to get out...fast. the break up has been hell to go through. i know for a fact that i wont be able to handle him moving on. i know for a fact that i wouldn't be able to control my emotions and probably breakdown. i don't have anymore energy. i usually confront my problems head-on, but this one: i want to run away from. i know no one cares about me except my family. if i was the only person in my family living in il -- and everyone else was in another state/country -- i would just drive away. pack up my things and just drive. "you're still young". sure i am. but i'm also a coward and i don't have anymore energy to do this anymore. i can't take it anymore. i need a new life.